sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
