did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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