3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Randomize
