He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize