I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
