return my video game
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
