I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
