The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
