i was born a porn star she said
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
