All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
