hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
