Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Randomize
