is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
