The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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