she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
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