And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Be still, my beating vagina.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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