dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
