i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
