did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I want to stick my p in your. b.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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