is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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