Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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