Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
