Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
