she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
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