she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
i out mim tonsoeep
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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