I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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