when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
