she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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