I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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