ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
