I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
