i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
