You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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