my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
