i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
