After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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