"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
