drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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