do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
