No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
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