I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Randomize
