who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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