but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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