office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
