Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
