What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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