I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
