Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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