accomplished twins. life is a go
i wish my penis had a tongue
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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