broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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