Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
