It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
