i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
do herpes really smell.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
