i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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