What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
i just had sex bonerless
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
