Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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