it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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