we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
