Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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