Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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