how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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