piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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