you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
