Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
